Elizabeth "Bette" Jean Gallagher Tunney
Bette is my grandmother.
May 29, 1921 ~ April 8, 2017
Born Elizabeth Jean Gallagher, Bette absolutely refused to be called by her given name. Known as Dolly or Bette Jean to her friends when she was in primary school, she eventually shortened her name to Bette. A gregarious soul, Bette grabbed onto life from the beginning and took it for a grand ol' ride. She made her first splash in the newspaper at only 8 days old. While she isn't actually named in the article, the Oakland Tribune announced that a Gallagher child was born to Mrs. Walter Gallagher. And so she was.
Born in Oakland, California on May 29th, 1921, to Walter and Ida, Bette lived a privileged life on Park Blvd. She wasn't from a wealthy family. Indeed, her mother was a housewife, while her father was a police officer. However, Bette always said that her father made certain her life was very comfortable. While she was a child of the Depression, she never felt the hardships that some of her friends and classmates felt.
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| Baby Bette liked her jewelry even then. |
Friendship, Fun & School:
Bette was a part of the first first grade class at Glenview Elementary School, where she was an above average student (except in math where she was a C student). The school itself was built in 1926 for a mere $180,000. Bette said of her time there, that every morning, the students "endured a detailed hygiene inspection. And left-handed students were "taught" to write with their right hands." Seventy-two years later, she went back to visit the school with a few of her former classmates. Even after all those years, she said with a smile "It [the school] still smelled the same."
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| Bette's 10th Birthday. |
The world was a different place when Bette was a youngster. In many ways, there was much more freedom and less scrutiny. She told me that when she was 6 or 7 years old, she and a little neighbor boy would walk up to the nearby hill. The two would find something to use to slide down the hill together. They would play all day without any parental supervision. It was a simpler time and parents didn't need to hover when their children left the confines of their homes.
Bette always had many friends. Her yearbooks are filled with various notes from her peers, but there was one childhood friend who stood out from all the rest. Betty Moffitt (married name Grady) and our Bette had been friends since the early years of elementary school. Regardless of the different spelling, their names sounded alike, so to differentiate between the two, our Bette would simply be known as Gallagher (her maiden name) and Betty with a "y" would become Mof (a shortened version of her last name). These two became lifelong friends and through the years, the burgeoning families always referred to the ladies as Gallagher and Mof. In point of fact, I was astonished to learn in my high school years that Mof wasn't actually her first name. I grew thinking that this nice lady just had a weird name, but alas, she did not. It was simply her nickname.
While Bette and Mof had many friends, they were joined by a third girlfriend while they were at Oakland High who would stick with them through the years. Pat Adams (née Hunter) completed this trio of fast friends. I always heard her two names (her given name and married name) together. So, it was always "Pat Adams," never just "Pat". I am sure the reason for this was to differentiate her from the Pat in our family.
While the three were fast friends, it was Bette and Mof who were not only active in various organizations, they tended to be the organizers behind a variety of events, as well. The earliest record I have documenting their involvement in school activities was in March of 1938. Bette and Mof pledged the Alpha Chapter of Gamma Phi Lamda. This was a high school sorority, not a college one. Their formal initiation was held at the home of Miss Margaret Bates, while afterwards the pledges "motored" to the St. Francis Hotel in the City for an evening of dancing.
Bette also belonged to the Alpha Feminae Sorority. In April of the same year, she acted as a committee member for the Mothers-Daughters Tea that was held in Piedmont at a fellow classmate's family home. Held on a Sunday afternoon, Bette and her mother attended this annual event.
She was also involved in the Latin Club and served as their secretary. The term project for the Latin Club in 1939 was a dinner. According to the Oaken Bucket Yearbook, the purpose of the club was to, "maintain a social acquaintanceship among those students interested in this language." Bette always said that the Latin she learned, helped her when she went abroad to Europe in later years. She may not have been fluent in the Romance languages, but her knowledge of Latin helped her to understand a few things.
She held the position of Sergeant-at-Arms of the Sorores (another word for Sorority Sisters), Additionally, she was an Aegis Reporter and was also a member of the Riding Club, as well.
In April of their senior year, the sorority held a dinner-dance at the Mark Hopkins in San Francisco. A week later, the ladies performed a musicale at the home of Miss Virginia Hammond. While Bette was definitely in attendance at the former, I am uncertain about the latter. However, knowing Bette, she was probably there with bells on.
While Bette and Mof had many friends, they were joined by a third girlfriend while they were at Oakland High who would stick with them through the years. Pat Adams (née Hunter) completed this trio of fast friends. I always heard her two names (her given name and married name) together. So, it was always "Pat Adams," never just "Pat". I am sure the reason for this was to differentiate her from the Pat in our family.
While the three were fast friends, it was Bette and Mof who were not only active in various organizations, they tended to be the organizers behind a variety of events, as well. The earliest record I have documenting their involvement in school activities was in March of 1938. Bette and Mof pledged the Alpha Chapter of Gamma Phi Lamda. This was a high school sorority, not a college one. Their formal initiation was held at the home of Miss Margaret Bates, while afterwards the pledges "motored" to the St. Francis Hotel in the City for an evening of dancing.
Bette also belonged to the Alpha Feminae Sorority. In April of the same year, she acted as a committee member for the Mothers-Daughters Tea that was held in Piedmont at a fellow classmate's family home. Held on a Sunday afternoon, Bette and her mother attended this annual event.
She was also involved in the Latin Club and served as their secretary. The term project for the Latin Club in 1939 was a dinner. According to the Oaken Bucket Yearbook, the purpose of the club was to, "maintain a social acquaintanceship among those students interested in this language." Bette always said that the Latin she learned, helped her when she went abroad to Europe in later years. She may not have been fluent in the Romance languages, but her knowledge of Latin helped her to understand a few things.
She held the position of Sergeant-at-Arms of the Sorores (another word for Sorority Sisters), Additionally, she was an Aegis Reporter and was also a member of the Riding Club, as well.
In April of their senior year, the sorority held a dinner-dance at the Mark Hopkins in San Francisco. A week later, the ladies performed a musicale at the home of Miss Virginia Hammond. While Bette was definitely in attendance at the former, I am uncertain about the latter. However, knowing Bette, she was probably there with bells on.
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| From their high school yearbook. |
The girls graduated from Oakland High in June of 1939. In her Senior Will, Bette left "her sweet mannerisms to Jean Gustavson," (whomever she might have been).
After a summer that must have been filled with various shenanigans, the three ladies headed off to college.
Bette told me she originally thought about attending Berkeley, but decided against it because in those days it wasn't the school it would eventually become. According to her, it was a bit of a party school that no one took seriously.
She decided, instead, to attend Holy Names in Oakland, which at the time was a school of higher learning for women only. It wouldn't be co-ed until long after Bette graduated. However, long before that time, it's doors first opened in 1868 by six Canadian nuns who yearned to educate the poor.
After a summer that must have been filled with various shenanigans, the three ladies headed off to college.
Bette told me she originally thought about attending Berkeley, but decided against it because in those days it wasn't the school it would eventually become. According to her, it was a bit of a party school that no one took seriously.
She decided, instead, to attend Holy Names in Oakland, which at the time was a school of higher learning for women only. It wouldn't be co-ed until long after Bette graduated. However, long before that time, it's doors first opened in 1868 by six Canadian nuns who yearned to educate the poor.
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| This is probably a costume from The Gay Nineties Fashion Show & Tea. |
Bette studied Economics and Psychology at school. That being said, Bette did not just attend school, she participated in school. Her involvement in social and academic groups did not end in high school. She carried her school spirit over to her collegiate years, as well.
She was one of three student body vice presidents in her senior year.
She was active in public speaking, and was a member of the Press Club, both of which suited her passion for writing and engaging with people. Bette used her skills as a roving reporter to share the goings on of her fellow students.
She was a leader in the Dramatic Society, known as the Masquers, and in her senior year, she acted as its president. In the Fall of her sophomore year, she was in the play The Goose Hangs High, by Lewis Beach. First introduced on Broadway in 1924, it was a comedy that told the story of a Midwestern family's struggle during lean times leading up to and following Christmas of that same year. St. Mary's College, which was then all male, provided the male actors for the play. According to an article that Bette clipped out from a newspaper, she was "superb" in her role as Diane.
She not only performed plays at the school auditorium, she played the Herald in Cinderella, at the Women's City Club Theater.
She was a member of the Theresians, a philanthropic group of the affiliated charities of Alameda County where she served on the welfare committee, as well as the program committee. On February 20th, 1943, she participated and helped to organize a Gay Nineties Fashion Show and Tea to raise funds for this organization.
She attended dances at school, four of which were tea dances held in honor of aviation cadets who were about to depart for pilot training. While Mof chaired one of the dances for these pilots-to-be, Bette chaired at least three dance committees.
An interesting note: one of the dances was held from 2:30 to 5:30 in the afternoon. My school dances were always in the evening, so this stuck out to me.
In their junior year, Mof chaired the organization of the Junior-Senior banquet, while Bette headed the entertainment committee (of course!), which was held at the Claremont Hotel. This was an annual event where the juniors hosted the seniors, while in return, the seniors would reveal their senior "wills" to their hosts, telling them what were leaving behind to the juniors.
She was one of three student body vice presidents in her senior year.
She was active in public speaking, and was a member of the Press Club, both of which suited her passion for writing and engaging with people. Bette used her skills as a roving reporter to share the goings on of her fellow students.
She was a leader in the Dramatic Society, known as the Masquers, and in her senior year, she acted as its president. In the Fall of her sophomore year, she was in the play The Goose Hangs High, by Lewis Beach. First introduced on Broadway in 1924, it was a comedy that told the story of a Midwestern family's struggle during lean times leading up to and following Christmas of that same year. St. Mary's College, which was then all male, provided the male actors for the play. According to an article that Bette clipped out from a newspaper, she was "superb" in her role as Diane.
She not only performed plays at the school auditorium, she played the Herald in Cinderella, at the Women's City Club Theater.
She was a member of the Theresians, a philanthropic group of the affiliated charities of Alameda County where she served on the welfare committee, as well as the program committee. On February 20th, 1943, she participated and helped to organize a Gay Nineties Fashion Show and Tea to raise funds for this organization.
She attended dances at school, four of which were tea dances held in honor of aviation cadets who were about to depart for pilot training. While Mof chaired one of the dances for these pilots-to-be, Bette chaired at least three dance committees.
An interesting note: one of the dances was held from 2:30 to 5:30 in the afternoon. My school dances were always in the evening, so this stuck out to me.
In their junior year, Mof chaired the organization of the Junior-Senior banquet, while Bette headed the entertainment committee (of course!), which was held at the Claremont Hotel. This was an annual event where the juniors hosted the seniors, while in return, the seniors would reveal their senior "wills" to their hosts, telling them what were leaving behind to the juniors.
There is little doubt that the ladies were socially active and that Bette and Mof were usually found organizing these events.
Additionally, Bette told me that she and her college girlfriends would often gather at one of their homes. The common denominator at any of these visitations were a combination of ashtrays that were filled to their capacity, and plumes of smoke wafting through the air. Smoking cigarettes was considered a sophisticated thing to do. Of course, smoking was a national epidemic that was glamorized in
movies and in television. Eventually, the truth came out about the dangers of cigarettes and Bette quit smoking when I was a little girl. I never remember either Mof or Pat Adams smoking. So, they probably quit at some point, as well.
Bette graduated on April 4th, 1943 with a Bachelor of Arts degree. Just after graduation, Bette journeyed back East to New York for a wedding of a friend of a former classmate at Holy Names. What is interesting about this is that I found the information in a newspaper article with a picture of Bette about this very thing. Apparently, several parties were planned in the previous two weeks leading up to her departure in honor of her going away—even though she was only going away for a week. From what I have gathered in other articles, it would seem that giving parties to anyone who was leaving (either moving or simply going on vacation), were always given. Any excuse for a party, I suppose. Even more astonishingly, is the fact that this information made it into the local paper. Why this was considered news is beyond me, but as a descendant of Bette and the self-subscribed family historian, I am grateful that it was considered newsworthy.
This article (and many others, as well) reported that Bette was a popular student at Holy Names (no surprise there). This article also mentioned that after graduating, she would either become a social worker or she would join the WAVES organization. WAVES was a part of the United States Naval Reserve. It was an acronym for Women Accepted for Voluntary Emergency Service. According to C. Peter Chen, "WWII-era women took up far more responsibilities (than they did during WWI). Secretarial and clerical jobs still made up a large portion of WAVES positions, but thousands of WAVES personnel performed other jobs such as aviation mechanics, photographers, control tower operators, and intelligence personnel...By the end of the war, over 84,000 women served in WAVES with 8,000 female officers, which constituted 2.5% of the US Navy's personnel strength."
As far as I can tell, Bette's aspirations to be a part of WAVES did not come to fruition. Instead, social work would be the path she chose (more on this later in the Red Cross section).
That being said, Holy Names was not simply her Alma Mater. It was a place where the seeds for the lifelong friendships she maintained were initially planted. Bette, Mof and Pat Adams were three peas in a pod—no matter what age they were.
Additionally, Bette told me that she and her college girlfriends would often gather at one of their homes. The common denominator at any of these visitations were a combination of ashtrays that were filled to their capacity, and plumes of smoke wafting through the air. Smoking cigarettes was considered a sophisticated thing to do. Of course, smoking was a national epidemic that was glamorized in
movies and in television. Eventually, the truth came out about the dangers of cigarettes and Bette quit smoking when I was a little girl. I never remember either Mof or Pat Adams smoking. So, they probably quit at some point, as well.
Bette graduated on April 4th, 1943 with a Bachelor of Arts degree. Just after graduation, Bette journeyed back East to New York for a wedding of a friend of a former classmate at Holy Names. What is interesting about this is that I found the information in a newspaper article with a picture of Bette about this very thing. Apparently, several parties were planned in the previous two weeks leading up to her departure in honor of her going away—even though she was only going away for a week. From what I have gathered in other articles, it would seem that giving parties to anyone who was leaving (either moving or simply going on vacation), were always given. Any excuse for a party, I suppose. Even more astonishingly, is the fact that this information made it into the local paper. Why this was considered news is beyond me, but as a descendant of Bette and the self-subscribed family historian, I am grateful that it was considered newsworthy.
This article (and many others, as well) reported that Bette was a popular student at Holy Names (no surprise there). This article also mentioned that after graduating, she would either become a social worker or she would join the WAVES organization. WAVES was a part of the United States Naval Reserve. It was an acronym for Women Accepted for Voluntary Emergency Service. According to C. Peter Chen, "WWII-era women took up far more responsibilities (than they did during WWI). Secretarial and clerical jobs still made up a large portion of WAVES positions, but thousands of WAVES personnel performed other jobs such as aviation mechanics, photographers, control tower operators, and intelligence personnel...By the end of the war, over 84,000 women served in WAVES with 8,000 female officers, which constituted 2.5% of the US Navy's personnel strength."
As far as I can tell, Bette's aspirations to be a part of WAVES did not come to fruition. Instead, social work would be the path she chose (more on this later in the Red Cross section).
That being said, Holy Names was not simply her Alma Mater. It was a place where the seeds for the lifelong friendships she maintained were initially planted. Bette, Mof and Pat Adams were three peas in a pod—no matter what age they were.
As the years passed, the three ladies remained friends. Reminiscing on their relationship, my dad shared how the three of them would banter in the backseat of his car and giggle like teenagers even though they were well into their golden years. In fact, until Pat Adams and Moff became sick towards the end of their lives, they embraced one another's company and laughed to their heart's content. I have the sneaking suspicion that these three amigas get together for fun and frivolity on a regular basis now that they are all on the other side.
Herb Caen once wrote about their friendship, which is attached here. I won't repeat what he wrote, because it's fun to read their names in print first hand. However, for those of you who are unfamiliar with his work, Caen was the man around town. He editorialized San Francisco from his point of view and could make or break businesses just by sharing his opinion. So, to be included in his column was a big deal.
An interesting note: The restaurant where they ate for their birthdays that year was Julius' Castle. It was an iconic restaurant in the City that mixed Arts and Crafts architecture with the shape of a castle. While it has since closed, there is an effort to try to reopen it, although the latest report I have seen is that it has been stalled by the City government.
Anyway, needless to say, Bette cherished her friendships. Not just with Mof and Pat Adams, but with everyone she ever came in contact with. Fifty years after she graduated from Oakland High, she helped to organize her high school reunion with all her former classmates at the Oakland Airport Hilton. It's not surprising that she was in charge of the invitations and the RSVP's for this event. Four hundred guests were in attendance. Bette certainly knew how to throw a party.
The committee created a "yearbook" style booklet for this reunion with pictures of all the couples (for those who were married) and for the individual person who was not. An In Memorium section was also inserted, showing those who had passed. And for anyone who wished to keep in touch, the contact information was listed for all who attended the event. A lot of effort was made in creating this booklet, and I could genuinely feel the "school spirit" even though these seniors had long since hung up their graduation caps.
After the success of this event, the committee arranged for reunions every five years instead of ten. Friendships were important and as the time passed they wanted to see each other more often.
Moreover, from this event, they had a surplus of funds and the committee decided to start a modest annual scholarship fund of $300, for which Amanda Ratcliff was the first recipient to receive. She had planned on attending a State College in the fall after she graduated in order to become a teacher. Mary Lou and Cliff De Lauer were the class of 1939 representatives to attend Amanda's ceremony. The scholarship would eventually be named after Cliff in 1992 after he was accidentally killed in the Fall of 1991.
Herb Caen once wrote about their friendship, which is attached here. I won't repeat what he wrote, because it's fun to read their names in print first hand. However, for those of you who are unfamiliar with his work, Caen was the man around town. He editorialized San Francisco from his point of view and could make or break businesses just by sharing his opinion. So, to be included in his column was a big deal.
An interesting note: The restaurant where they ate for their birthdays that year was Julius' Castle. It was an iconic restaurant in the City that mixed Arts and Crafts architecture with the shape of a castle. While it has since closed, there is an effort to try to reopen it, although the latest report I have seen is that it has been stalled by the City government.
Anyway, needless to say, Bette cherished her friendships. Not just with Mof and Pat Adams, but with everyone she ever came in contact with. Fifty years after she graduated from Oakland High, she helped to organize her high school reunion with all her former classmates at the Oakland Airport Hilton. It's not surprising that she was in charge of the invitations and the RSVP's for this event. Four hundred guests were in attendance. Bette certainly knew how to throw a party.
The committee created a "yearbook" style booklet for this reunion with pictures of all the couples (for those who were married) and for the individual person who was not. An In Memorium section was also inserted, showing those who had passed. And for anyone who wished to keep in touch, the contact information was listed for all who attended the event. A lot of effort was made in creating this booklet, and I could genuinely feel the "school spirit" even though these seniors had long since hung up their graduation caps.
After the success of this event, the committee arranged for reunions every five years instead of ten. Friendships were important and as the time passed they wanted to see each other more often.
Moreover, from this event, they had a surplus of funds and the committee decided to start a modest annual scholarship fund of $300, for which Amanda Ratcliff was the first recipient to receive. She had planned on attending a State College in the fall after she graduated in order to become a teacher. Mary Lou and Cliff De Lauer were the class of 1939 representatives to attend Amanda's ceremony. The scholarship would eventually be named after Cliff in 1992 after he was accidentally killed in the Fall of 1991.
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| Various pictures of Bette, Mof and Pat Adams through the years. |
Mr. & Mrs. G:
The younger people in the family may not know that Jack and Bette nicknamed each other Mr. & Mrs. G. What that means is up for debate, but there are clues in Jack's letters. Regardless of their meaning, it's clear that Jack and Bette had a special bond. People throw the term soul mates around a lot lately, but Jack and Bette actually were soul mates. Their relationship defined the term.
While I have included a great deal of their story on Jack's page and I do not wish to repeat myself, I almost entirely focus on the engagement and wedding with a sprinkling of other information thrown in on Bette's page.
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Indeed, at one of her high school dances, Bette's escort was Jack. In those days, the ladies carried dance cards so that the men could sign up for dances with them. In this case, Jack filled out the entire dance card. Needless to say, they liked each other even then.
While they broke up for a time in their younger years, they still had a bond that would not break. Bette told me that for at least part of the time while Jack was in the Army, they were broken up. She said that she had a plethora of plans for the weekend, but when Jack called her out of the blue and said he would be in town, without hesitation, she cleared her calendar. If my memory is correct, they hadn't seen each other in about a year at this point, but regardless of their time apart, she wanted to be with Jack. When she opened the door and saw her man standing before her, it was then when she knew she would marry him. Ironically, this is the weekend he proposed to her. Of course, she said, "Yes!" And the rest is history.
Shortly thereafter, on Dec 29, 1943, Bette hosted a dinner given at the St. Francis Hotel in San Francisco as a farewell to their friend. This party had a dual purpose as it was here where Bette shared the news with her friends that she and Jack were to be married. Because Jack was a corporal in the army at the time, and Bette was a social worker with the Red Cross, the centerpiece used for the dinner table featured a male doll in an army uniform and a female doll with a Red Cross uniform. Bette was creative, even then!
For Christmas in 1943, Jack mailed to his beloved a special card with a special present. Inside the box, held the most precious gift of all—her engagement ring! It may have been delivered by the postman, but whether near or far, distance was not going to prevent them from their love.
Bette arranged the wedding details in California, while Jack was living in Virginia. She kept him in the loop of the planning process via letters. While we don't have her letters anymore, his letters "answer" hers, so it's easy to know what they discussed in those missing letters. I can report that Jack wanted to marry back East, because he was stationed there and it was difficult for him to be furloughed long enough for him to get back to the West Coast. However, Bette and her father, Walter, insisted they marry in the Bay Area. Their friends and family were in California and this would be where their wedding would be held. Ergo, Jack submitted to his fiance's demands and managed to get the necessary time off in order to be there at his own wedding.
As the days moved closer to their wedding date, pre-nuptial showers and celebratory parties kept Bette busy right up through the night before the wedding. Mrs. Catherine Dunn (née Guthrie) hosted one of her showers, while Mrs. Josephine Dunn Smith (née Marshall), who was a bridesmaid, held a "blue garter champagne party" for her at the St. Francis Hotel. For the bride's "something blue" it had been tradition between her girlfriends "to loan a blue satin garter to each bride-elect just before her wedding day. Carrying out this theme, tiny replicas of the garter, tied with ribbons inscribed with the names "Bette and Jack" served as place favors." (1)
Additionally, Mof, who would serve as the maid-of-honor, threw a "blue garter" dinner party at the Claremont Hotel for Bette to celebrate the occasion. Although Pat Adams didn't plan any of these events, she was in attendance. She may not have been much of an organizer, but knowing her, she must have kept the parties lively with her wit.
While Jack and Bette were engaged, she was considered the "bride-elect" (or future bride) while he would have been known as either a "benedict-elect" or "bridegroom-elect," which meant future husband. These old style terms are listed in the various newspaper articles about them and I find the evolution of language fascinating. So, I share their meaning here.
There was another article with a plethora of information that I was going to post directly, but it is very faded, and hard to read. Plus, I can't enlarge it very much. So, I have retyped it here.
Bette Gallagher has Nuptial Mass
From the Oakland Tribune
dated Aug. 13, 1944
"Following the Nuptial mass at St. Mary's Church yesterday, Cpl. John Joseph Tunney, U.S. Army, and his bride, the former Miss Bette Jean Gallagher, will leave shortly for Washington, D.C. where the bridegroom is stationed.
"A breakfast reception for sixty of the young couple's family and intimate friends was held at the College Women's Club in Berkeley, directly following the Saturday ceremony at which Rev. Emmitt O'Connor officiated.
"The bride wore a gown of marquisette (a sheer, lightweight mesh fabric with a leno weave) and satin, the bodice of satin brocade with long, pointed sleeves and a yoke of marquiestte, the full skirt of marquisette ending in a brief train. Her finger-tip veil was caught in a Julian cap. In place of the traditional bouquet, the bride carried a white prayer book, with a streamer of white orchids and stephanotis. The bride's father, Walter L. Gallagher, gave her in marriage.
"The bride's mother, Mrs. Gallagher, wore an aqua crepe gown with a tiny deep rose satin hat. Mother of the bridegroom, Mrs. Joseph Owen Tunney, wore a pale green crepe gown. Each wore an orchid corsage.
"The new Mrs. Tunney graduated from the College of Holy Names last year and her bridegroom attended San Francisco State Teacher's College (the current SF State) where he majored in music, before entering the service. The bride has been doing Red Cross social work.
Last minute pre-nuptial parties for the bride included a shower at the St. Francis Hotel in San Francisco, where her bridesmaid, Mrs. Dunn was the hostess."
There was an error printed in both newspaper articles I found regarding their wedding venue. They were not married at St. Mary's as reported, but rather St. Margaret Mary on Exelsior Avenue in Oakland, which was within walking distance of where Jack and Bette grew up. Bette kept the script from the wedding, which shows not only the church, it also confirmed that they had a traditional Catholic Mass for their ceremony.
On a personal note, I love that we have these details of what the ladies wore. We only have black and white photos from the wedding and now we can visualize what the true colors were.
An interesting note: Bette's mother, Ida, definitely made her wedding dress. In all likelihood she probably made the dress she wore to Jack and Bette's wedding, as well.
It also fascinates me that all four of the articles I found on the engagement and wedding were all centered around Bette, while Jack was included as almost an after thought. Even the titles of the articles were centered around Bette. "Bette Gallagher Weds Tomorrow," and "Bette Gallagher has Nuptial Mass." Doesn't a marriage take two? Yet, Jack is nowhere to be found in any of the titles. Additionally, the bride and groom's mothers were mentioned, as were the bridesmaids, and while Bette's father was listed as giving the bride away, Jack's father wasn't mentioned at all, nor were any of the groomsmen. While even in today's world the wedding is more about the bride, it is very clear that weddings in those days were even more centered around the women. The man's job was simply to show up, smile, and say "I do.".
Jack and Bette spent their first two nights of wedded bliss at La Playa Hotel in Carmel, a once luxurious mansion built by a member of the Ghirardelli family (think chocolate) for his beloved wife, which even today has been voted the best hotel on the Monterey Peninsula. Afterwards, they spent one night in Oakland, before heading back East by way of the Western Pacific Railroad. It took three days before they reached Chicago and then on August 20th, Washington D.C became their final destination via the Western Pacific. However, somewhere along the way, they made their way up north to Niagara Falls, as well.
***
Long after their "I do's," Jack and Bette had a beautiful and happy marriage that was filled with many adventures. The two of them loved to travel, which they would do extensively after they retired, but their passion for traveling started far earlier than that.
Right before Bette's 31st birthday, Jack and Bette sojourned to Bermuda. They flew home from their trip on May 28th, 1952. They flew from Kindley Field Bermuda and arrived back in the States at Idlewild Field in New York. Idlewild opened its runways in 1948. While the name may not seem familiar, many of us who have traveled to Europe have been there. This airport was renamed in 1963 to JFK International Airport and it is the busiest hub to Europe in all of North America. They flew on the iconic and now defunct Pan Am Airways. These were the days when men donned suits and women wore hats and gloves on board a flight. Pan Am always fills my head with visions of glamorous flying—when planes still had an excess of leg room, they still used real silverware for meals, and baggage didn't cost anything extra.
Jack and Bette centered their lives on raising their four children in the early years of the marriage, and embracing their burgeoning family as the years passed. They cherished their long-time friendships, the members of the band that Jack played with and their families, and the Christian faith. Their lives were filled with fun and inspiration.
Jack and Bette's 65 year marriage was rewarding and happy. Their deep love and respect for one another is something that their family continues to remember and treasure. On a card to Bette, Jack once quoted William Butler Yeats from "When You are Old":
"...One man loved the pilgrim soul in you (Bette), and loved the sorrows of your changing face."
No matter what age she was, he loved her with all his heart. And the feeling was quite mutual from her point of view, as well.
After Jack's death in 2009, it's not surprising that Bette missed him. Eight years later, in her final hours, she began to "see" both Jack and her mother, Ida (aka Ba). It upset her that she could not hear them. I comforted her by telling her she would be able to hear them soon. Bette left her body and joined her beloved Jack on April 8th, 2017.
I'm sure that these days they are flying around together in some Heavenly vintage convertible having a grand ol' time with all their friends.
I'm sure that these days they are flying around together in some Heavenly vintage convertible having a grand ol' time with all their friends.
***
Jack and Bette had shared with various family members that they wanted to be cremated and scattered together under the Golden Gate Bridge. After her passing, the family celebrated their two glorious lives and their profound love for one another. It was a powerfully moving day that I will never forget.
Not to mention, that there were three of us who saw a penguin out on the Bay that day. Regardless of the fact that no one else saw it or believes us, we three know it was there! Maybe it escaped from the zoo. I think Jack and Bette just sent us this playful messenger that day.
Not to mention, that there were three of us who saw a penguin out on the Bay that day. Regardless of the fact that no one else saw it or believes us, we three know it was there! Maybe it escaped from the zoo. I think Jack and Bette just sent us this playful messenger that day.
Bette had a nearly lifelong affiliation with the Red Cross. During the World War II years of 1943 and 1944, she was a social worker. In those days women didn't work after they were married, so she hung up her uniform in August of '44. Prior to their marriage, Jack's letters mention how he was worried about her since she went into bad neighborhoods. However, this incident didn't dissuade her from leaving the Red Cross for good.
While Jack was stationed in Washington D.C., she continued her Red Cross work as a volunteer, heading a successful fund drive that was acknowledged by an invitation to tea at the Kennedy White House.
Following the tragedy of the September 11th attacks, Bette, now a senior living in Rossmoor, donned her Red Cross hat once again as a volunteer. She led the organization of gathering additional volunteers to help with several community service projects, including providing for the victims and the rescue workers in New York and in Washington, D.C.
One of the first projects she started was the creation of patriotic lapel pins that sold at various recreational department functions. The proceeds went to the Contra Costa Red Cross, which was then sent back East.
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Bette also helped to implement blood drives, as well as the "Vial of Life" program in Rossmoor for the Red Cross. A vial was distributed to each of the residents living in the community. The occupants would then fill the vial with pertinent information regarding their health and medications so that if an emergency occurred a first responder would be able to find it in the refrigerator, where each resident kept it so it could easily be found.
Moreover, Bette was a part of the County Special Events team for the Red Cross. She organized a Coffee Table Book Drive, with a sale of those collected at the Rossmoor Flea Market. There were also Candy Drives and Dances that she helped to organize. Bette loved a good party, even in her later years.
Politics:
Bette was a lifelong Democrat and as far as I know she participated in the voting process until the last year of her life. She didn't care for either candidate (Trump and H. Clinton) in that year and she refused to vote.
Reading & Writing:
"There's absolutely no reason why a person shouldn't read a book a week," a teacher once told Bette. She took this guidance to heart and became a voracious reader herself—reading at least one book a week. She savored words. They were a part of her essence. She enjoyed speaking them. She enjoyed reading them. And she enjoyed writing them, as well. In fact, she had a writer's heart. Her first known published work was printed in the local paper.
The Lucky Girl
By Bette Gallagher
(9 Years Old)
(9 Years Old)
Ruth was a very poor girl. She was nine years old, blue eyes and golden curls. It happened ten days before Easter. Ruth was roaming about the fields looking for early poppies. She saw a hold in the ground and she dug down into it and found a pot of gold and silver. Ruth took it home and her father sold it to a man and got $10,000 for it. Her mother, father, sister, and herself lived in luxury. Ruth got lots of things for herself. Ruth grew up and married an actor and her sister married his brother.
As an adult, she published a children's story in the Times-Herald based on Humphrey the Whale who wandered into the Bay in 1985.
Being 18 years old in 1939
Watching the completion of the bridges...
thrilled by Treasure Island and the Big Bands
San Francisco was for celebration, city life, always
"THE CITY"
topped by dancing at the Mark to Orrin Tucker...
First to drive over and off the Bay Bridge (while) returning home:
four of the grads. Driver fell asleep, no booze, no drugs, minor injuries!
Another graduate, Jeanne Heatherinton,
played the ingenue in "Going My Way" with Bing Crosby...
still another, Douglas Cross, wrote the lyrics to
"I Left My Heart in San Francisco"
September 30th the magic '39 will celebrate 50 years
at the Oakland Airport Hilton
The accident she referred to in the story/poem, was an event that Bette was involved in. While she was not the driver, she was in the car of this serious accident. But the angels must have been on their side, because they all walked away from it, relatively unscathed.
She wrote in her obituary (she wrote it before she passed) that she also worked on a children's book and she said that several of her short stories were published in the 1950's, but I have no record of these items.
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| Bette painted many gifts for people. This was for Mary. |
Her favorite color was yellow. It was the color of the sun and it made her happy. A yellow teapot remained in her position for decades, because it was her favorite color and Jack had given it to her. It had been missing its lid for many years, but she still used it as a vase. I remember her filling it with blue hydrangeas from her yard.
Bette was an avid collector of salt cellars. These tiny treasures were the precursor of salt shakers. People used these tiny bowls to store their salt. Tiny spoons were used to scoop up the salt.
Bette became fascinated with artistry when her children were growing up. She painted on canvas in the early years, but when Mary's mother, Wilda, created a ladies China Painting group, Bette was asked to join and she was excited to do so. She discovered that China painting was her medium of choice. That being said, the group wasn't just about painting. She loved the comraderie between all the members of the group, a.k.a. "The Girlfriends."
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| Bette painted her Rossmoor yard leading to the golf course. |
* Bette had a green thumb and loved to play in the dirt. She cherished her garden no matter where she lived. Even her tiny backyard in Rossmoor was a mini-oasis of plants that climbed the fence, hanging baskets bursting with the color from various flowers, as well as decorative accessories that adorned the space to give it more character. It was like looking at a delectable petit four. It may not have been the size of a full sheet cake, but that didn't mean it wasn't equally scrumptious nonetheless.
It wasn't just about its lush appearance either. One could relax with their lunch at the table covered by an umbrella. Feeling the light breeze on one's skin and hearing the meditative sounds coming from the water fountain that she and Jack made from an old bowl she had found at a thrift shop, meant that her garden gave one an instant feeling of relaxation. Gardening was simply another canvas for her creativity. Moreover, the yard's iron gate revealed the verdant green of the lawn outside their yard, making the space appear to be larger than it really was.
Thankfully, Bette painted a portion of her yard, so we will forever be reminded of how much she enjoyed nature.
Our Memories of Bette:
From Pat:
* Mom loved to throw a party and Mom and Dad had parties at our home all the time.
* Additionally, Mom liked to break out the paint brush and add color to the home. Dad would come home from work, and the furniture would be painted a totally different color. I most remember the furniture when she went through her "Asian inspired period," and painted everything red, as well as her turquoise phase, when practically everything in the house was painted turquoise. Mom liked her color. Even the television box was painted !!
* Mom was passionate about her art. I remember she painted an abstract piece that was turquoise. It reminded me of water. And of course, it matched the painted furniture.
From Mary:
* While Bette lived with us, she often sat out on the deck, enjoying the yard and the sunshine from her chair. She would wear a yellow baseball cap to block out the sun from her face. Throughout the day, she moved its bill around her head so that no matter where the sun was in the sky, her face was protected.
From Susie:
* I was unfamiliar with the Pleasant Hill area, so Bette was my GPS!
One time, we went to the movies and then we were going to go home. For some reason, Bette took us the wrong way and we ended up in Pinole !!! We were able to turn ourselves around, but we just simply could NOT. STOP. LAUGHING. We called ourselves Thelma and Louise (without the cliff, of course). Our big adventure and all we had to say was that we had finally seen Pinole!!!
We always had the best times together.
* The other crazy adventure we had was when there was some kind of fair or other event going on in Walnut Creek and we couldn't get ourselves out of the area. We must have driven around in circles for at least an hour—and we laughed all the way!!!
* Bette was the best and she loved telling me stories about Jack from long ago. She told the best stories and could talk for days.
I miss her so much.
From Lisa:
* Bette and I shared a love of history, travel, theater, writing, art, and reading. Needless to say, I enjoyed listening to her stories. A few months before she passed, I sat in her apartment listening as she regaled another one of her tales when it dawned on me that she spoke like a novel. She didn't just give the facts, she pulled you into the story so you could feel what was happening in that moment. I think she was always a writer at heart, but women didn't work in those days, so she didn't practice it on a regular basis.
After telling her my thought on the matter, she admitted to me that she always wanted to be a journalist, an actress, and she wanted to fly planes. Before she married, her dream was to become a Fly Girl, she said, which would take her to England and it was there where she could be a journalist.
It was a lot to take in. I had heard so many of her stories, but I never heard that she wanted to work in any of these capacities, not to mention, with the exception of the female dancers on the show In Living Color, I had never heard of the Fly Girls before either. She explained that the Fly Girls (or a WASP, meaning Women Airforce Service Pilots) were a forgotten group of lady pilots during World War II. They were civilian pilots who flew cargo planes that ferried military aircraft and other cargo to England.
She told me that she was actually approved to be a Fly Girl, but within weeks prior to her attending flight school, the program was scrapped. On June 21st, 1944, the U.S. House voted against giving it military status and on December 20th of that year it was disbanded.
After a little investigation on Google after Bette and I spoke of this, I discovered that the files on the the Fly Girls were actually classified for 35 years until 1975. However, now they are open to the public.
* On another note, when the "first generation" of grandchildren were born, Jack and Bette refused to be called Grandma and Grandpa. They were too young for that, they told me. So, to my brothers and I, they were always Jack and Bette. However, when the eldest of my cousins was born, she called Bette "Boppi" and Jack was known as "Da". These names stuck to all future generations and with some regularity, they even referred to each other with these nicknames.
* For many years, Bette wore a rose-scented fragrance. To this day, when I smell the sweet smell of a rose, I can't help but think of my grandmother.
If anyone has any stories they would like to add,
please send them my way and I will add them here.
* Bette grew up as a Protestant, but her man was a Catholic. His religion was very important to him. His letters share his elation when she decided to attend a Catholic college. I half wonder if she attended to make him happy. His letters make it seem that she would have to become Catholic for them to marry. I know her two best friends also went to Holy Names so that must have played a role in her attending there, as well, but there is little doubt that Catholicism was a big deal to Jack.
So, Bette either officially converted to Catholicism, or simply attended the Catholic Church with Jack. However, in her middle life, she had had enough and went back to being a Protestant. I am not sure how often she ever attended church, if at all, at this point, but she never stopped believing in God. Her faith was very important to her and in later life, she read the Bible on a regular basis.
The Meaning of Her Names:
Personal Name: Elizabeth ~ Oath of God or God is satisfaction. Elizabeth was the mother of John the Baptist and Queen Elizabeth I of England was arguably the the most famous Elizabeth in history.
Personal Name That She Used: Bette ~ It has the same meaning as Elizabeth, but it was also used as slang to mean an attractive woman.
Surname: Gallagher ~ (Old Irish: Ó Gallchobhair, Ó Gallchobhoir; Modern Irish: Ó Gallachóir) is an Irish Gaelic clan based most prominently in what is today County Donegal. The clan name originated in the 10th century as a derivative of its founder Gallchobhair mac Rorcan.
Sources:
(1) from a newspaper clipping from Bette's memorabilia, newspaper unknown, but the author as Doris Tucker
Women Airforce Service Pilots aka Fly Girls
WAVES information, by C. Peter Chen
Julius' Castle information from Wiki
The Red Cross information while she was living in Rossmoor came from articles clipped by Bette from a local newspaper. I am not sure which one, but Wilma Murray was the staff writer who wrote them.(1) from a newspaper clipping from Bette's memorabilia, newspaper unknown, but the author as Doris Tucker
Women Airforce Service Pilots aka Fly Girls
WAVES information, by C. Peter Chen
Julius' Castle information from Wiki
Some of the information came directly from Bette's obituary that she wrote. I often quoted her exactly.
Please note that the Herb Caen article has been clipped for the sake of this blog. I cut out the first paragraph, because it had nothing to do with Bette and her friends. However, I wanted to keep the picture of Herb Caen. So, a little editing was required.
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